Ma Thi Thi reflects on the words of her 76-year-old grandmother when it comes to marriage in Myanmar society.
“It was said that it was enough if a woman could read and write, and there was no point in becoming an educated person,” Ma Thi Thi, a young Yangon woman says, mulling the attitudes of her grandmother’s generation that still permeate Myanmar society in the 21st century.
The neighbours urged Ma Thi Thi’s great grandfather not to let her grandmother continue her studies at school. They encouraged him to push her to drop out of school. When Ma Thi Thi asked her grandmother why they did not want her to continue her studies at school, her grandmother told her that the given reason was her husband would make a living for her after she got married.
In the past, traditionally, women were meant to stay at home, do housework well, and take care of their husbands. Thus, it was enough for women to be able to read and write.
When Ma Thi Thi heard of her grandmother’s story, she felt sorry for the women who lived during that time. She reflected upon the lives of women whose ancestors did not recognize the abilities of women but also limited the choices of women in the past.
Yet elements of these attitudes linger on. As Ma Thi Thi’s grandmother mentioned, it was important that women were able to do the housework well - a shadow following women today in Myanmar.
As Ma Thi Thi notes, people are still used to hearing from their mothers that if we were too lazy to do something when their mothers asked them to do something, they would probably find no man would want to marry them.
She feels that instead of parents offering these outdated ideas, they should encourage their daughters to take responsibility for their own lives and learn to live to support themselves.
“Myanmar women have to pay respect and give priorities to their husbands like lords of the households right after getting married. Although both husband and wife work outside, women are still meant to listen to their husbands obediently and to do housework. The life of a housewife is so tiring having to treat the husband and sons like God and lords. Is there a reason why women have to struggle harder than men even if they married for love?” asks Ma Thi Thi.
“If there was no equality at the beginning of the relationship between women and men, women could be more stressed in later life when they get pregnant and have to do household chores mainly on their
own. Most women have to spend their lifetime in the kitchen with their children until they get old, putting aside their dreams and joy. We should reconsider if the lives of women are supposed to be lost or be forgotten in the name of love,” she said.
“Most of the women do not have time to think of beauty after marriage because they are worried that the husband might accuse them of adultery, and because most of their time is spent doing household chores. Typically, men think that they can do whatever they want, so it is fine for them.”
As Ma Thi Thi notes, women have to take responsibility to take care of the house, be patient, and be obedient. If there is something wrong at home or if the children don’t behave well, women are blamed and if their husbands commit adultery, women are still blamed and abused because the wife cannot provide any pleasure for them. This is psychological abuse. Beating and shouting are not the only types of abuse.
In Myanmar society, the way some men look at and talk to young women is as though they are sub-human. They also assume that women can be exploited sexually. It becomes an obstacle for women to progress in their lives, a violation of their human rights.
Ma Shwe Yee, a teenager, laments the attitudes that still persist in Myanmar society.
“Discrimination based on gender orientation should be considered the worst thing ever in society. The concept of being born as a man being nobler than being born as a woman is a ridiculous and disgusting way of thinking,” she said.
“The notion of male dominance needs to be rooted out from the society because these unnecessary kinds of discrimination against gender, which we have been holding on to for years, leads people to suffer disadvantage,” Ma Shwe Yee notes.
Many women in Myanmar have been growing more strident in standing up for the rights of women and the need for equality over the last decade. It is an issue that negatively affects women in a number of countries and circumstances around the world. But in crisis-ridden Myanmar the challenges are stark.
